she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
