Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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