Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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