You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
