the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
