She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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