I'm so fucking centered right now
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
