Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
