Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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