Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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