just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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