Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
