some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize