Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
