so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize