All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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