If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
