Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
