We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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