No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
