I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
