just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
