The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
PANTIES FOUND
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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