U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
