chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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