She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
