exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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