why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You left your phone here
Wait...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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