i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
