This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
