my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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