GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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