Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
