Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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