He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
