I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
