I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
