at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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