So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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