don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Ladies don't puke and tell
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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