she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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