You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
