if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
