I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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