How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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