singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
