Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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