I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
