Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
