i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
