How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I stole a fireplace last night.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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