Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
