In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
