I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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