hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
