Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
