Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
