so let's talk penis.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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