She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
