Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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