just come out here and I will go home with you...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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