Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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