what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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