I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
