Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
