Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize