he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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