Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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