I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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