if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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