do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
