I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
