I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
