Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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