we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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