well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
