we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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